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Real Tech Support Conversations

21 Jul

The following are a number of transcribed conversations to technical support departments:

Tech support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Christine says:    A white one…

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Customer:   Hi, this is Maureen. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support:  That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer:  No , wait a minute.. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk.. Sorry….

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Tech support:  Click on the ‘My Computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer:  Your left or my left?

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Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start”  for me and –.
Customer:  Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer.’ I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer:  I have problems printing in red…
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:  Aaaah…………………thank you.

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Tech support:  What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies..

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Customer:   My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:!   OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

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Tech support:  Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters ?

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Customer:  I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars. 

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Tech support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:  I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech support:  Are you running it under Windows?

Customer:  “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer is working fine.”

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And last, but not least…

Tech support: “Okay Mickey, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P ” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer:  I don’t have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  “P”…..on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:  I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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Posted by on July 21, 2009 in life

 

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